We at Heather's T.R.E.E. believe that education is one of the primary tools in helping those coping with domestic violence. Accordingly, we have accumulated the following resources we feel to be a small step in empowering domestic violence victims the world over.
We have created an ever-growing list of categorized links and online resources
- Mississippi Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- Mississippi Coalition Against Sexual Assault
- Mississippi Department of Public Safety
- MS Attorney General Domestic Violence Department
- National Coalition Against Domestic Violence
- Family Violence Prevention Fund
- Domestic Violence Information Center
- U.S. Office on Violence Against Women
- National Center for Victims of Crime
- National Demestic Violence Hotline
Behavior Patterns of Abusers
Below, find some of the more common signs of potential abusers.
If you or someone you know are involved in a relationship with a potential drug or physical abuser, please seek help from a counselor, family member, friend, co-worker, clergy or your local domestic violence agency or if in immediate danger, dial 911.
- Pushes for quick involvement:
Comes on strong, claiming, "I've never felt loved like this by anyone." An abuser presses for an exclusive commitment almost immediately.
Excessively possessive; prevents you from going to work because "you might meet someone"; checks the mileage on your car.
Interrogates you intensely (especially if you're late) about whom you talked to and where you were; keeps all the money; insists you ask permission to go anywhere or do anything.
- Unrealistic Expectations:
Expects you to be the perfect mate and meet his or her every need.
Tries to cut you off from family and friends; accuses people who are your supporters of "causing trouble." The abuser may deprive you of a phone or car, or try to prevent you from holding a job.
- Blames others for problems or mistakes:
It's always someone else's fault if something goes wrong.
- Makes others responsible for his or her feelings:
The abuser says, "You make me angry," or "You're hurting me by not doing what I tell you."
Is easily insulted, claiming hurt feelings when he or she is really mad. Rants about the injustice of things that are just a part of life.
- Cruelty to animals or children:
Kills or punishes animals brutally. Also may expect children to do things that are far beyond their ability (whips a 3-year old for wetting a diaper) or may tease them until they cry. 65% (sixty-five percent) of abusers who beat their partner will also abuse children.
- "Playful" use of force during sex:
Enjoys throwing you down or holding you against your will during sex; finds the idea of rape exciting.
- Verbal abuse:
Constantly criticizes or says blatantly cruel things; degrades, curses, calls you ugly names. This may also involve sleep deprivation, waking you with relentless verbal abuse.
- Rigid gender roles:
Expects you to serve, obey and remain at home.
- Sudden mood swings:
Switches from sweet to violent in minutes.
- Past battering:
Admits to hitting a mate in the past, but says the person "made" him (or her) do it.
- Threats of violence:
Says things like, "I'll break your neck", or "I'll kill you", then dismiss them with "Everybody talks that way" or "I didn't really mean it".